EPISODE GUIDE

TEASER    ACT 1    ACT 2    ACT 3    ACT 4


Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

ACT 4


[fade in]

JANIS' ATHENS APARTMENT - LATE EVENING

Janis, Xena and Gabrielle spread out and search the apartment.  Xena heads for  the back bedroom, while Gabrielle and Janis check the balcony.  Xena sculks into the room and scans for signs of movement.   Sensing something, she heads silently to the closet door and swings it open abruptly.   Reaching into the closet, she pulls a man out from behind a rack of clothes, throws him onto the bed and pins him down,

Hearing the commotion, Gabrielle and Janis run into the room.


CLOSET MAN
(quivering)
Don't kill me.


XENA
Oh, If I wanted to kill you,
you'd be dead already.


JANIS
(angry)
Sebastian, what are you doing here?


XENA
You know this man, Janis?


JANIS
He's Ethan's assistant.


SEBASTIAN
(choking)
Former assistant.


JANIS
What do you mean, former assistant?


Sebastian tries to speak but the force of Xena's grip prevents him.

Janis walks over to Xena.


JANIS
May I?


Xena releases her grip and backs off while Janis grabs him up by the shirt.


JANIS
Listen little man, you'd better start talking fast 
or you're going to experience something very 
unpleasant called a pinch interrogation.


Xena gives a look of approval to Gabrielle about Janis' take charge attitude.


XENA
(quietly to Gabrielle)
 She's your relative alright.


Gabrielle smiles.


SEBASTIAN
(talking fast)
Ever since your sightseeing trip to 
Mount Parnassos 3 months ago,
Mr. Ford has been obsessed with
the legend of Xena.


GABRIELLE
(to Xena, quietly as Sebastian talks)
WOW, a legend.


Xena rolls her eyes.


SEASTIAN
(cont'd)
He got wind of the fact that you discovered
the Xena Scrolls in Macedonia and he just
found out where the dig site is located.
(beat)
Mr. Ford has been trying to get more 
information, but every time he got close, 
you managed to foil his efforts.
(beat)
He decided to kidnap Miss Pappas 
because he thinks she can fill in the 
blanks about what is at that site.
(beat)
Can she do that?


Janis' expression is one of alarm because she is all too familiar with Melinda's ability to let everything that pops into her head fall directly out of her mouth.


JANIS
(lying through her teeth)
She doesn't know anything.


SEBASTIAN
When I found out that Mr. Ford
was going to kidnap Miss Pappas,
I told him he was delusional and I 
high-tailed it out of there.
(beat)
I just couldn't keep this a secret,
so that's why I came to find you.


JANIS
Sebastian, you'd better be telling the truth.


SEBASTIN
Oh Dr. Covington, I am because Mr. Ford
has a new assistant named Leonardo and
he is a very bad man.
(beat)
I'm afraid Miss Pappas is in great danger.


Janis releases her grip and lets Sebastian fall onto the bed. 


JANIS
Wait here and don't move


SEBASTIAN
I'm a statue.

Janis motions for Xena and Gabrielle to follow her into the living room.


JANIS
(upset)
I have to get Melinda out of there NOW!


XENA
Janis, just calm down and don't worry.
I told you we will get her back safe.
Now what's the quickest way to that tomb?


JANIS
(yelling)
Sebastian, get in here.


Sebastian sheepishly enters the room.


JANIS
(cont'd)
Listen and listen good.
You're coming with us to
get Melinda back.


SEBASTIAN
(gulping)
ME?... Why me?


JANIS
Because you know how Ethan thinks.


SEBASTIAN
You don't really want to do this... Trust me.


JANIS
Discussion time is over.
NOW GET MOVING!


They all go out to the car, with Sebastian in tow behind Janis.  She throws him into the front seat while Xena and Gabrielle get in back.  Janis hastily starts the car and speeds off toward the Macedonian dig site.





[cut to]

BACK SEAT OF THE CAR - PRESENT

GABRIELLE
(whispering)
Xena,  doesn't Sebastian remind you of...


XENA
Salmoneus
(beat)
Yes he does.


GABRIELLE
It's kind of hard not to like him.


[cut to]

INSIDE THE CAR - 1 HOUR LATER

Everyone has calmed down and Sebastian is making small talk.


SEBASTIAN
(to Xena and Gabrielle)
You know, I have to ask you ladies,
are you related to Dr. Covington and
Miss Pappas because you bear a 
striking resemblance to them?


There is an uncomfortable moment of silence and then the bard speaks.


GABRIELLE
Let me properly introduce us.
I'm Gabrielle, Janis' twin sister
and this is Xe.....
(pause)
Xelda, Melinda's twin sister.
That's how we all met, at an
international twins convention.


Sebastian swallows the story hook, line and sinker.


SEBASTIAN
Very nice to meet you.


As Sebastian turns back to face the front, Xena looks at Gabrielle in disbelief.


XENA
(quietly)
XELDA?
Is that the best thing the silver-tongued 
bard could come up with?


Gabrielle smirks.


[cut to]

MACEDONA DIG SITE - EARLY MORNING

After driving all night to reach the dig site, Janis turns down an old dirt road that leads to her former camp.  As the car gets closer, they see a large explosion in the distance.  Janis slams on the brakes and everyone gets out of the car.



JANIS
This isn't good.
Sebastian, you drive back to that town 
we passed and get the local authorities.
We're going in to get Melinda.


SEBASTIAN
(making a bee line for the car)
Whatever you say Dr. Covington.


Sebastian drives off while Janis, Xena and Gabrielle head toward the hole made by the explosion. They enter and cautiously start to go deeper.  Then in the distance, they see the silhouette of a person.


JANIS
(voice raised)
Melinda?


The figure walks closer to them and then steps into some light cast by a lantern.


ETHAN
Ah Dr. Covington.
(beat)
I certainly wasn't expecting you this soon, if ever.
But I know you are a woman of conviction.


JANIS
(angry)
Ethan, what have you done with Melinda?


ETHAN
Oh, she's quite safe.
But before we continue, aren't you going to 
introduce me to your look-alike friends?


Xena sizes up the situation, sensing that there are more then just the four of them in the immediate area.


XENA
Oh, we're just a couple of long 
lost relatives, looking for 
(pause)
my sister.


Gabrielle looks at Xena and raises an eyebrow.


ETHAN
(stroking his mustache)
Really.


JANIS
Cut the bullshit Ethan and tell me 
where Melinda is?


ETHAN
She's in one of the chambers back there.


Ethan points deeper into the tomb.


ETHAN
(cont'd)
Melinda is going to tell me all about
the sarcophagus and that strange 
looking red and gold eye.


XENA
(quietly to Gabrielle)
The Eye of Hephaestus.
He's got her in the chamber
where Ares was.


Janis starts toward Ethan.  He immediately puts his hand up, palm forward to stop her progress.


ETHAN
Dr. Covington, I really wish I had more time
time to chat, but I have a date with Melinda
and you have a date with these gentlemen.


Four men come out of the darkness.


ETHAN
(cont'd)
Leonardo, it's your dance.


LEONARDO
(leering)
With pleasure.


Ethan disappears into the darkness and the men come forward.  The first man lunges at Gabrielle, but she coyly steps out of the way and he runs into a wall.  Two men jump onto Xena and with a mighty heave, she sends them flying through the air.  Leonardo takes on Janis.  As he comes at her, she makes a fist and lets it fly.  Connecting with his nose,  Leonardo falls backward.

Xena is beside herself, thoroughly enjoying her second fight in less than 24 hours.


XENA
Come on boys,
can't you handle a couple of girls?


Angered by her statement, the four men lunge at Xena.  She flips over them as they come forward, causing all four to stumble into a side compartment.  Xena unholsters her chakram and throws it at the rock wall just above the room's entrance, causing a pile of boulders to come crashing down and blocking their way out.  Xena catches her chakram and rehoslters it.


GABRIELLE
Are we having fun yet?

XENA
Haven't had this much fun in 200 years.


Janis runs to the room where Ethan and Melinda are.   As she enters, she stops dead in her tracks.  Janis sees Melinda and Ethan standing together and Ethan has a gun pointed at her.


MELINDA
(ecstatic)
JANIS!


JANIS
 You ok Mel?


Melinda nods.


ETHAN
I hate to break up this reunion, but
don't come any closer Dr. Covington.
(beat)
Now do exactly what I say and no 
one will get hurt.  I want you to walk
 over to the sarcophagus and get in.


Janis starts to walk slowly.


JANIS
Come on Ethan, give it up.  
It's all over.


ETHAN
(confident)
I don't think so...
I'm used to getting my way,
so just do exactly what I tell you.


Ethan starts to circle the area while holding Melinda in front of him.  He keeps the same distance from Janis as she walks toward the sarcophagus.   Ethan gets half way to the exit when he hears a high pitched whooshing sound coming toward him.
Xena's chakram flys out of the darkness, knocks the gun out of his hand and then disappears back to where it came from.





Ethan stumbles backward, Melinda faints and Janis leaps over the sarcophagus onto Ethan.  She throws a right cross that knocks him to the ground.  As she pulls him up to hit him again,  Sebastian and the local authorities come running in.


SEBASTIAN
Dr. Covington, are you alright?


JANIS
I think I broke my hand on his face.



ARES
Hello Xena! 
Nice to see you came in your own body this time.
Not bad for 2500 years old. You never cease to amaze me. 


Ares looks over at Gabrielle.


ARES
(cont'd)
And Gabrielle, you don't look a day over 25.
Having you been using my sister's face cream?


Janis and Melinda stand frozen in place while Xena looks Ares with narrowing eyes.


XENA
Ares.... You know I still 
can't let you leave here.


ARES
(laughing)
You have no choice now.
I've already been out and 
DAMN IT I like it.
XENA
(concerned)
What are you saying?


ARES
While you were playing with Pretty Boy
 and his gang, I left through that big hole he made.


XENA
(warning voice)
Ares???


ARES
But before I leave again, let me give 
you a going away present.


Ares looks over to the chakrams and hurls a fireball their way, causing them to bond together again.




Ares laughs sinisterly as he disappears.

Xena goes over and picks up the chakram, looks it over, then let's it fly. It ricochets off of 3 different rocks.  On the return trip it heads for Melinda and splits in half as it reaches her, reassembling after it passes by. Xena catches it and hooks it onto her hip.

Melinda becomes faint again but Janis catches her before she falls.


MELINDA
Oh my!


XENA
(playfully)
Um, sorry Melinda.
Just had to check it out.


Gabrielle walks over and puts her hand on Xena's arm.


GABRIELLE
Xena, what are we going 
to do about Ares?

XENA
Gabrielle, I guess we've just gone 
back into business again.


THE END

Back to Adventures Section   Back to Main Scroll




____________________________________
Janis shakes her hand in pain.


JANIS
(cont'd)
Get him out of here. And you'll find
four more behind that pile of boulders
in the next chamber.


SEBASTIAN
I tried to get here as quickly as possible.


JANIS
Sebastian, you did good.


Sebastian smiles.


SEBASTIAN
Since everything looks under control here, I'll go
back with the authorities and explain everything.


As Ethan is cuffed and taken away, Janis leans down to Melinda and taps her cheek to bring her around.


JANIS
Melinda?? Melinda, wake up.


Melinda's eyes flutter open.



MELINDA
Janis, how did you get here?
Mr. Ford said it was useless 
to think you would find us.


JANIS
Well I had some help.


Xena and Gabrielle come out of the shadows.


MELINDA
(startled)
XENA...GABRIELLE... oh my!
What are you doing here?


Xena walks over to Melendia and kneels down next to her.


XENA
Now I couldn't let any harm 
come to my twin sister, could I?


MELINDA
(confused)
What are you talking about?


JANIS
I'll explain everything to you
on the way back to Athens.
Now let's get you out of here.


Xena and Janis both help Melinda to her feet while Gabrielle goes over and picks up the chakram she gave Aphrodite, that is lying on the ground in 2 peices.


GABRIELLE
(turning to Xena)
Look Xena, the other half 
of your chakram. But it's broken.


XENA
I know. It broke when I threw 
it at the Eye of Hepheastus last year.



Gabrielle lays the 2 broken pieces on top of the sarcophagus. Xena remove the chakram from her belt and lays it on top of the broken one.


GABRIELLE
Well, at least you have your Yin and Yang 
sort of together again.


Suddlenly, there is a high pitched sound and then sparks of light form the outline of a man.